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Natural Awakenings Central Florida / Orlando

A Humorous View On Aging

Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we’re kids? If you’re less than 10 years old, you’re so excited about aging that you think in fractions. “How old are you?” “I’m four and a half!” You’re never thirty-six and a half. You’re four and a half, going on five!

You get into your teens, now they can’t hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead. “How old are you?” “I’m gonna be 16!” You could be 13, but hey, you’re gonna be 16!

And then the greatest day of your life... you become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony…YOU BECOME 21! Hot Dog!!!

But then you turn 30. Eeeww, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk. He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There’s no fun now, you’re just a sour-dumpling. Over the hill. What’s wrong? What’s changed?

You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you’re PUSHING 40.

Whoa! Put on the brakes, it’s all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50… and if you’re heart’s desire and dreams aren’t fulfilled by now, well, I wouldn’t be holding my breath.

But wait!!! Somehow, you MAKE it to 60. You didn’t think it was even possible when you were 21. Then you couldn’t even see 30. People who are 60? The walking dead?

So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60.

You’ve built up so much speed that you HIT 70! BAM! Hitting the wall. After that it’s just a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday! You make it to the weekend.

You get into your 80s and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; it TURNS 4:30; you REACH bedtime.

And it doesn’t end there. Into the 90s, you start going backwards; “I was JUST 92.”

Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. “I’m 100 and a half!”

May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!!

The above text was circulating on the internet entitled George Carlin’s View on Aging. However, when Natural Awakenings contacted Carlin’s publicity department, we were told that this was not written by him. (First of all, there are no swear words included.) We would love to acknowledge the source; however, it remains unknown. We liked it anyway: Carlin or not. May it brighten your day, too, as it did ours.

12 Steps to Staying Young

  1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Forget about it. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay him/her.
  2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.
  3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle.
  4. Enjoy simple things. Simple living saves lives.
  5. Don’t sweat the small stuff (and remember, it’s ALL small stuff.)
  6. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath. At least once a day.
  7. Tears do happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person who is with you your entire life is yourself.
  8. Be ALIVE while you are alive.
  9. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it’s family pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.\
  10. Cherish your health: If it’s good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help. You have the power to heal yourself. No one can do it for you…too busy with their own stuff.
  11. Don’t take guilt trips. Take a trip to the park, to the next county, to a foreign country, but NOT to where guilt is.
  12. Tell the people who you love that you love them, at every opportunity.
AND REMEMBER: Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.Practice awe and wonder. The past is gone, the future is uncertain, the Now is a Gift, which is why it is called The Present.

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